My Anxiety's Relationship WIth Sleep

This has nothing to do with
my anxiety, but I thought it was funny.

 

When you have an anxiety disorder, you more than likely have sleep problems to go along with it. The two don't always go hand in hand, but most people who suffer from anxiety seem to have trouble sleeping at some point or another. This trouble can take various forms and has had many faces in my life–not all negative, believe it or not. Here are a few troubles I've had with sleep and that you may have if you suffer from anxiety:

• Difficulty falling asleep
• Difficulty staying asleep
• Difficulty falling back to sleep
• Difficulty waking up
• Difficulty staying awake
• Difficulty trusting the efficacy of your sleep medication

Okay, that last one isn't really anxiety related as much as it is related to my dismay that medication is not magic. 

Anxiety is the antithesis of sleep. Check out this study abstract if you don't believe me. If you are worrying or having physical anxiety symptoms when you lay down at night, you are not likely to fall asleep fast or have restful sleep. I have spent hours laying in bed worry about life, worrying about worry, having panic attacks or stressing about sleep while trying to fall asleep. I know I'm not alone in this, though I never saw anyone else pacing the halls or asking the nurse for anxiety meds at 3 a.m. when I was in the hospital. I suspect they were giving everyone else better meds.

Trouble staying asleep and falling back to sleep is something I experienced mildly in the past. However, it came about full force at the end of last year. I was waking up multiple times a night with panic attacks and having trouble getting back to sleep. This was different from waking up a bit early and laying there hoping for more sleep. It was a desperate clawing need for sleep coupled with panic symptoms that prevented it from happening. The meds that helped me fall asleep did nothing to help me stay asleep. It's been about three weeks since this has happened after a period of it happening every night, so you could say I'm pretty excited.

It is much more common for me to have issues with sleep than it is for me to sleep too much or feel sleepy enough for a nap, but it happens. It typically happens when I'm a bit depressed, but don't have the underlying anxiety that usually triggers it. It also happens when I'm on psych meds for my conditions, and they are working. I think I've decided it's better to sleep too much than too little, so I'm going to be super med compliant this time . . . I promise.

I mentioned at the beginning of this post that not all affects of my sleep problems are negative. It's true. I'm typically a night owl, so much so that I may stay up until 5 a.m. and sleep until noon. When I go through a bout of strong anxiety, I tend to get up earlier–a reset that usually lasts a few months after the relapse has resolved. I also tend to get fewer bouts of profound sleepiness in the middle of the day, which is nice. My relationship with sleep may be strained at these times, but I am really productive when I start to come out of the anxiety with a "normal" sleep pattern. It's never long before I'm cleaning the house late at night and reading until the sun comes up again, though.

If you suffer from anxiety and have a hard time sleeping, open up to your docs about it. They say sleep is one of the most important things you can do for your mental health, so seek ways to have a healthier relationship with sleep. Good luck!

Taking Other People Down With You

One thing no one ever tells you when you are diagnosed with a mental illness is that you will be compelled to take the people that you love down with you. Now, don't get me wrong. You're not sitting in the dark maniacally plotting to gaslight them into going a little crazy with you. No, I mean that certain mental illnesses, such as anxiety disorders, make you feel unsafe and so you sometimes want the people around you to act accordingly.

I was sitting in group one day with one of my favorite group members–a cynical and suffering woman like myself. I was venting about how I wanted my husband to go out more because I felt guilty that I couldn't do a lot of the things he wants to do. She goes, "Oh, you take people hostage too?" I had to laugh. She was absolutely right. I hold my husband hostage. It's one of those weird unbalanced scenarios where he doesn't mind being captured by a mentally unstable woman (Stockholm Syndrome?), but I hold him hostage, nonetheless.

Another thing I notice is that my concern for the well-being of the people I love is in overdrive thanks to OCD. Therefore, I get a little anxious when I see my dad eat unhealthy or mom smoke. My husband coughs and I imagine him dying of tuberculosis. Most of the time, I can keep this crap to myself. There is no reason for my fears to dictate other people's lives. But sometimes, that nagging anxiety creeps in and I find myself trying to micromanage other people's health. I give my mother long lectures on what she should and shouldn't do. I tell her how much I worry about them (my parents). What I'm really doing is sucking other people into my vortex of worry. She may not have been worried about the problems I pointed out before, but she sure will be when I'm through getting it off my chest.

I don't know how to change how I treat the people I care about other than to keep treating myself. Maybe if I get my obsessions and compulsions under control, I won't feel like I need someone with me 24/7. I won't freak out at the thought of my father having high cholesterol. My husband will be able to leave me alone for more than a few hours.

I wonder if other people have a similar experience.

Common Types of Intrusive Thoughts

Hand washing can get out of control
because of contamination thoughts.
Photo by Serenity

Intrusive thoughts associated with OCD and other anxiety disorders tend to have one thing in common–they are distressing. They pop into your head and disgust, shame or scare you. People without a disorder can typically brush similar thoughts off as nothing and move on with their lives. People with OCD give these thoughts deeper meaning and are often tormented by them. Why are they so distressing? Well, they aren't exactly fluffy bunnies hopping across your consciousness. Here are some common types of intrusive thoughts associated with OCD.

Contamination

I'm going to kick things off with contamination because it's one of the more well known presentations of OCD. I don't suffer from it, thankfully, but many people do. Essentially, these people have thoughts that things they touch, people around them or they themselves are contaminated with germs. In response, they may avoid touching things and clean a lot.

Sexuality

It is generally thought that most people have passing thoughts that go against their sexuality. For example, a gay woman may think about sex with a man. In most cases, people can brush off thoughts that might otherwise make them question their sexuality, but some people with OCD cannot do that easily. They may "check" to see if they are really gay or straight or obsess over the idea that they are "wrong."

Harm/Violence

A very common theme in OCD is harm or violence. Some people may think they have to do things a certain way or it will cause someone harm. Other people will have images of hurting others or themselves pass through their minds. This can lead to behaviors like avoiding knives, driving, vulnerable people and social settings.

Inappropriate Sexual Thoughts

Without going into too much detail, let's just say that these thoughts are really distressing to OCD sufferers who have them. Anything taboo or morally wrong is potential intrusive thought fodder. Don't worry. Having these thoughts doesn't mean you're a sexual deviant. Sure, acting on them does, but chances are you wouldn't be freaking out about your thoughts if you found them appealing. (Don't take that as a cue to check and see if you think they are appealing. You wouldn't be here reading this if you did.)

Relationships

Some people with OCD are tormented by the idea that they are wrong about their relationships in some way. Do they love their spouse? Are they actually attracted to their spouse? Does their spouse love them? Does that fleeting thought about the cute guy at work mean you don't love your boyfriend? This is part and parcel of the feeling that things need to be "correct." I even have thoughts about whether my OCD is really OCD because it doesn't seem exactly right. My therapist once accused me of doubting because my OCD wasn't "perfect." People with relationship intrusive thoughts doubt because relationships are inherently imperfect. They need to learn to live with the gray areas.

There are many more forms that these thoughts can take, so don't be worried that you might not have perfect OCD because you didn't see your thoughts listed here. Talk to a professional. This is strictly for casual reading purposes only and to spread awareness of OCD and other anxiety disorders. If you want to talk about any other types of intrusive thoughts, feel free to leave a comment below.

Physical Symptoms of Anxiety

Anxiety is an often-debilitating feeling that can descend on anyone, at anytime. It can come in the form of mild anxiety or full-blown “attacks.” It can happen a few times in a person's life or it can become a disorder that affects a person frequently over the course of their lifetime. Anxiety is not only impartial about whom it affects and when it affects them, its symptoms are also very diverse. A person may experience one symptom or many, making it feel like their body is out of control. Here are some of the more common physical symptoms one might feel when they are in the grip of anxiety.

Sweating/Chills

It is common for a person with anxiety to start sweating and/or feel cold. The sweating may occur anywhere on your body where you can sweat. However, sweaty palms and armpits are most common. A person with anxiety who feels cold may feel cold even under a blanket. This feeling of cold may also be accompanied with shaking.

Nausea

One of the most common physical side affects of anxiety is nausea or vomiting. People who vomit from stage fright are experiencing a form of anxiety. The nausea may go away quickly or it can be debilitating.

Shaking

Shaking is something that comes with being nervous for some people. Anxiety, being a form of nervousness, can cause extreme shaking. This shaking can be uncontrollable and mistaken for other conditions. 

Increased heart rate

Increased heart rate or heart palpitations are a sign of anxiety. Anxiety attacks often lead people to believe they are having a heart attack. Nevertheless, you should not assume that a racing heart is caused by anxiety. You should always consult your doctor if it is persistent, accompanied by other physical symptoms or is debilitating.

Shortness of breath/Gasping

Another one of the most common physical side-affects of anxiety is shortness of breath or gasping. Anxiety sufferers will often complain of an inability to breathe. It is important to remember that what helps an anxiety sufferer to breathe well again is not the same for people who suffer other breathing difficulties. In other words, do not perform live-saving measures like CPR or the Heimlich if they are conscious, gasping, able to talk and/or do not have an obstruction in their throat. Furthermore, do not give them prescription asthma medication, if it is not prescribed to them. If their breathing does not become regular with calming breathing exercises or it appears that these exercises are having no effect, call a doctor or bring them to one. 

Tingling in extremities

Anxiety sufferers sometimes complain of a tingling sensation. Tingling of the hands and arms is most common. This is another physical symptom of anxiety that may cause a person to believe they are having a heart attack. 

Dizziness

A person having an anxiety attack may feel dizzy. This can be accompanied by nausea or poor balance. In both cases, it is best to sit and wait it out, if you know you are having an anxiety attack. 

This is not a comprehensive list of physical anxiety symptoms. Each sufferer is unique and may experience a wide range of symptoms. The tough part is knowing you are having an anxiety attack because the symptoms are so varied. Be sure to talk to a doctor if you are experiencing anxiety or anything else that produces these symptoms. There are treatments and you do not have to suffer.

*This article does not take the place of medical care. It is not written for the purpose of self-diagnosis. If you are not well, consult your physician. 

Can Counseling Help People With Anxiety Disorders?

Arthur Rackham for Undine

Counseling can work wonders for people with anxiety disorders. The tools a counselor can give people stricken with any of these disorders or even just occasional panic attacks, coupled with the ability to speak with an unbiased party about their issues can take the place of medicine for the treatment of panic disorders. However, several factors will determine how successful counseling will be for the treatment of panic disorders. Very often, it takes a combination of counseling, medication and personal effort to see big results.

For counseling to help with any kind of anxiety disorder, the sufferer has to be willing to try to make it work. If a counselor suggests something like exposure therapy, the sufferer has to trust their counselor and try not to let their fear get in the way of treatment. Oftentimes, counseling will fail in treating panic disorders because the sufferer can't or won't allow their counselor to help them.

In order for a counselor to help a panic disorder sufferer, it is best if the counselor is well suited to the counseled. If there is anything about the counselor that makes the sufferer uncomfortable or defensive, it will be difficult to get results. On the other hand, it does take time for a person to become comfortable with and begin trusting their counselor. Therefore, if you are just starting counseling, give it a while before you switch counselors. You may find that as you get to know your counselor, your treatment works better and better.

The intensity of the anxiety disorder will also have a lot to do with how well and how fast counseling will help. For example, if a sufferer cannot leave their house without having a panic attack, going to counseling is going to be hell for them. It will be awhile before that person is able to feel safe going to see their counselor. Furthermore, it is harder to break the cycle of a panic disorder when it has been festering for a long time and has had the chance to become severe. Panic attacks become like a habit for many people. Sufferers get so used to them that they expect to have one and subsequently do because of their negative thinking. Counseling can and does help people like this, but it takes patience on the part of both the counselor and counseled.

A good counselor will have great listening skills, be understanding and have a comprehensive knowledge of ways to treat panic without medicine (see a prescriber or psychiatrist for that). They may tell you to try to get regular exercise, eat healthy foods, try exposure therapy, keep a journal, etc. All of these things are small steps on the road to chipping away at panic disorders. However, with the right counselor, right advice and enough time, a sufferer cannot only lessen their panic, but they may see it go away altogether.