Some Thoughts on Suicide and Suicide Prevention While the World is in Isolation

"No Escape" by Judith Carlin

It's been a long while since I've posted. It's a great time to dust off this blog and apologize to my readers for my absence. Me culpa.

I'm writing this in May of 2020, a time of unprecedented social isolation. People the world over are staying home, missing work and doing their very best to stop the spread of Covid-19, a deadly virus that is causing a global pandemic. The vast majority of us are safe from disastrous infections, but we're not wrong to be scared. We're not wrong to isolate and distance ourselves from others to protect loved ones and ourselves. However, it's doing a number on our mental health.

The extent of psychological symptoms caused by widespread isolation due to the current pandemic is unclear. We'll probably never know how many people have suffered and how. Nonetheless, I know personally that it's difficult at best to isolate when you have existing mental health conditions, so I know it's the same for many of you. My hope is that you're all coping well, using helpful skills and socializing from a distance to keep in practice. I know that even at the best of times, though, some of us are not coping well. Some of us, especially when we're isolated, think about committing or even plan to commit suicide. Please don't.

I know this is a cliché. I'm going to say it anyway: Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. This is 100% true. Every. Single. Time. Unless you die some other way before you see your way out of the darkness, the state you are in will not last the rest of your life. So, don't burn down the whole forest to get rid of the poison ivy.

I'm here to tell you my cure for suicidal ideation, at least the thing that's worked best for me. It's not necessarily a permanent solution, and it is definitely bitter medicine, but it works. The way to see an end to your suffering without an end to your life is to wait. Just wait. Time is my cure.

Now, before you cuss me out, let me explain myself. I know how hard it is to endure the pain that brings you to want to kill yourself. I'm intimately familiar with that pain. I don't know any way to immediately ease that suffering. I'm sorry for that, but I do know it will stop if you wait long enough. Now, you may have to wait with a pal who watches over you or get a lot of help learning to live with your emotions while you wait, but the point is that you will endure. You only have to exist for now. You don't have to live your best life or any of that bullshit. You just have to be here now.

When we contemplate suicide, we often make the mistake of thinking we have a dire choice. We can either live like this for however long our painful life lasts or we can end it all now. That's not correct at all. The choice is between nothing and a life with some pain in it. Everyone's life has pain in it. It has other stuff too, like humor, love, kindness, thrills, entertainment, nature, animals, and so much more, I could never list it all. For me, missing all of that isn't worth giving in to the pain. I know sometimes it feels like none of the good things are in store for you, but they are. It also seems like you can never enjoy anything again, but you can. All you have to do is wait. I sincerely and wholeheartedly promise.

If you are suffering with suicidal thoughts or plan to commit suicide, stop. Go to Google. Type in any phrase with the term suicide. Google will kick back a help line for your area. Use it. Tell your family. Tell your friends. Tell your co-workers. I know you're afraid of being judged, but being judged is better than not having a chance. There will be people who don't understand. If they can't be taught to understand, fuck them. They're the problem, not you and your mental health. You can get better. They'll still be shitty. Reach out until someone reaches back and grabs your hand. Hold on tight and just live your life one breath at a time until the breathing gets easier. There's a world full of people, the vast majority of whom have had mental issues at some point in their lives. We're all just trying the best we can. That's all you have to do.

Best wishes and a big socially distant hug from me.