Tuesday, February 23, 2016

My Therapist is Leaving Me

I know that changing therapists is part of being mentally ill and getting treatment. We all have reason at some point or another to start "seeing someone else." I've done this only once before. After a single session with a therapist who had somewhat outdated ideas, I found the therapist I have now­–K. We've "been together" for about three years now. I know this is the exception. I've met people who have had upwards of 10 different therapists over time. I always hoped that wouldn't be me. During my last session, I learned that K would be leaving the practice where I see her for greener pastures. I have mixed feelings.

When I met K, I was in a similar situation to the one I'm in now. My anxiety was in overdrive. I was having multiple panic attacks a day instead of one or two a month. I was having difficulty eating, working, sleeping, etc. For three years, she helped me get through my ups and downs. She helped me manage to stay sane long enough to marry my amazing husband in a real ceremony and reception! She's done a lot for me, including starting me on exposure and response prevention a few weeks ago. I'm in the middle of that treatment now, and I'm switching therapists.

Now, I'll get into my bag of mixed feelings. On the one hand, I am extremely nervous that it will take several tries before I find a therapist who knows anything about ERP. K didn't, but she knew me. I'm also nervous that this will be a setback. On the other hand, I am so happy for K, whom I think will do great in her new position. On yet another hand, because I have three, this could be a good thing. I'll learn to cope with someone new. This person may have tons of experience with what I'm going through, and maybe I'll like them as much as I like K.

I've shed a few tears. I've had moments of fear over this impending change. I have my doubts about the future, but none of these things are alien to me. All change is a challenge for me, and I've faced so many challenged over the course of my illness. The timing is probably terrible. It will probably throw a wrench in my treatment for a bit while I get to know someone new. However, that may make it more beneficial. I'm going to have to adapt and overcome. What better treatment is there?

I'm definitely going to miss K, though. I hope she'll be okay without me.

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