Facts About Anxiety, OCD and "Living in the Moment"

In anxiety treatment and some spiritual philosophies, being able to be "in the moment" is a lofty achievement. It is said, and is often proven, to lead to a greater sense of well-being and ability to handle tremendous feelings. I thought I'd share a few things about this elusive practice of being in the moment with whoever is reading this. Sometimes, I find it helpful and, of course, want everyone living with anxiety to have as much help as possible.

1. The Moment is the Only Thing That is Real

Before you run away thinking I'm about to get pseudo-philosophical on you, think about it for a moment. We rarely remember the past exactly as it was, and it's gone anyway. Sure, it happened, but it's not happening right now. The future is not certain for anyone. You can plan, and should to some degree, but you can't know what will happen, so unless you're creating safety nets, setting realistic goals or planning fun outings, your ruminations about the future might be unhealthy. You could be imagining catastrophe after catastrophe for no reason! Remind yourself, none of that is real and bring yourself back to what is happening RIGHT NOW. You'll fail at that sometimes. It's much easier to do when the moment is enjoyable.

2. Sometimes the Moment Sucks

Well, if the moment is the only thing we can really trust, what do you do if the moment sucks? Well, there are two things that you can do. Firstly, you can accept that the moment sucks. Yep. Shit happens and it's going to happen to you. However, you can also realize that moments are impermanent. If you're an anxious person, you feel intense emotions that you just want to pass. They always do, in spite of our fears. In these moments, it helps to remember that it will stop, even if it takes a while.

3. You Don't Have to Meditate to Be in the Moment

Meditation is a helpful way to learn to let thoughts come and go. It helps you to focus on breathing and get comfortable with being uncomfortable. However, you do not have to do it to be in the moment. You can be in the moment any time, anywhere. You can focus on the sound of leaves crunching under your feet on a hike, relish the wind in your hair as your rake your yard or breathe in the scent of a loved one during a hug. All of these things and many more center you in the here and now. You don't need 100 scented candles, a special butt pillow, an altar to the old gods and the new or a mandala drapery hanging ten feet high in front of you. You just need a moment in which to be.

4. It's Not Possible to Always Be in the Moment

Don't let trying to live in the moment be another reason to bully yourself. Not living in the moment is not failure. In fact, sometimes you have to take yourself out of the moment and imagine possible future scenarios. Sometimes, you'll really want to think about the past so you can see a loved one again. That's fine. It doesn't matter. Just practice being in the moment when you can so you can use that skill when you really need a break from your fear.

 

 5. Physical Stimuli Help Me

Everyone has different tricks. For me, and for many others, physical cues can bring me into the moment. Running my hands under cold water, taking a shower, holding an ice cube, standing in the wind, hugging a loved one, etc. These can bring me back. Sometimes, it is only very fleeting and I get right back into ruminating, but I can always grab another hug or sit outside in the cool wind a little longer.

If you're having trouble with ruminating and accepting feelings or just want to be a little less stressed, look into mindfulness meditation or just mindfulness in general. Like all tools for mental health, it has different levels of success for everyone, but it takes very little energy to learn and try.

If you have any mindfulness tricks you want to share, please feel free to do so in the comments section.

Review of the Stress Free App by Thrive

Screenshot of the Stress Free
home screen

Stress Free is an app created by Thrive to give people tools to help them meditate, breathe mindfully and more. You can use it right from the website. There is no download required. However, there is about a £5 per month fee for a monthly subscription and a little less for a six or twelve-month subscription. You can try the app before you commit to a subscription.

Full disclosure: I was given a full month free trial of the app so that I could try it and review it. The opinions here are my own, unbiased view of my experience using the app.

While I was signing in for the first time, the site played soothing music. I wasn't having any particular anxiety at the time, but it was still relaxing. The home page featured an inviting beach animation, complete with rolling waves. Signing up was simple. I typed in the usual name, email and password to create an account. In order to log in, I had to confirm my email address.

Once you have an account, you will see a few options on the page arranged over a cartoon island. They include breathing, "Thrive," meditation, self-hypnosis and deep muscle. I clicked Thrive first to learn a bit more. It took me to a link to a blog, a mental health helpline and advice on how to get help from NHS after hours. I'm in the U.S. and these resources are based in the UK, so they are not super helpful to me. However, that wouldn't be a deterrent for using the app because people in the U.S. can find similar help with just a quick Google search.

Next, I went to breathing. I have some experience with breathing techniques, but it is nice to have guided options. Stress Free explains that breathing has some benefits and offers breathing exercise lengths between 3 minutes and 15 minutes. I went with three to start. A friendly voice explains that calm breathing can help you relax and tells you how to do it, at least insofar as telling you how long to breathe in, hold and breathe out. Page features a little animated dude and some more ocean scenery that I later realized were present for most of the pages. Be wary, the timer for the breathing practice stops when you click away to another tab. It resumes when you go back, so you have to really do the full exercise to move on to the next thing.

I tried meditation next. This is something I have significant experience with, though not enough success. Sessions last from 5 minutes to 25 minutes. Again, I went with the shortest to start. I wanted to get a taste of what Stress Free had in the way of meditation before I dove in. Right away, I realized something interesting about the method. Stress Free asks users to repeat a mantra when distracted by thoughts when meditating. It's not my usual method, but I gave it a shot. It kind of reminds me of the "cue word" technique used by a former therapist of mine. You could definitely use this to develop a cue word.

Deep Muscle didn't unlock until I finished the meditation session. I was wondering what it was because I've only every heard the term deep muscle in reference to massage. It turns out that this is basically a body scan meditation. This one does not have length options or tell you how long it will be. I kept track and it took five minutes to do the muscle exercises. The app then led me through a series of questions that for some reason made me relax more. I'm not sure how long that lasted. I closed my eyes and felt a lot like I should take a nap.

The final category on the first island was self-hypnosis. I'm not a fan of hypnosis because I think it's pretty much guided meditation with an element of suggestion. Since we're "self" suggesting in this instance, I played along. This too was a lot like conditioning yourself to respond to a cue word or phrase. There is no length option. It takes roughly 3 minutes.

I finished the first "island" on all of the shortest settings. I then clicked the little palm tree icon on the bottom right that would take me the next island. There was a section there called "Zen Garden."Zen Garden is a cool little area where you can create your own virtual versions of Japanese Zen Gardens. It's meant to help with meditation. It's a nice idea. I suggest shutting off the sound while in the Zen area. The beep it makes when you click on items is distracting. I'm not sure if there is a way to shut that off and keep the music. I know you can shut off the music in the settings section too. You can always play your own relaxing music on another device while using the Stress Free app.

The second day I logged in, the app asked me my mood based on its mood meter so that it could suggest exercises. When I finished, it didn't suggest anything. In fact, the categories weren't even visible. When I reloaded the page and logged in again, the categories were available and deep muscle was highlighted as my suggested activity. I'm pretty sure that should have happened the first time, but it just glitched out for a second. No big deal. It was back up in no time.

On the final island, after the Zen Garden island, you can check your progress, write messages in bottles to other users and use the mood meter. There is a thought trainer section in the progress area. I have no idea what that is. I can't find anything that has to do with thought training and I've made no progress in that area in my own treatment. I would like to thought train, but I just couldn't figure it out. Sorry about that, guys.

My final word on the Stress Free app is that it's pretty cool. I personally have never paid for any of these services because I know where to find them all individually free. However, if you have the budget for it and prefer your breathing, meditation, hypnosis, etc. in the same place, this app could work for you. Do I think it's a magic fix for anxiety disorder? No. Don't expect to be cured when you finish, but don't be afraid to use the app as a tool to get through panic attacks or stressful days. It has the potential to help.

Note: I reached out to the developers on Twitter to see if they had plans to make it a mobile app and learned that the app is now available on Android and Apple! I didn't test the mobile versions, but I do imagine this will make it more accessible to those who need it. Furthermore, Thrive does intend to continue develop the app, which means more islands and other features in the future.